Sue's News

27 years and still no hate

2010-02-06T12:54:00.000-08:00

I recently went to the movies with one of my mentee's Vanessa. We always just show up, never really have a plan, and are always happy with our choice. This time we saw Invictus...the movie about Nelson Mandela's influence on the South African Rugby team. I was so inspired by the portrayal of Nelson Mandela. In one of the scenes one of the guards says that 'no one is invisible to Nelson Mandela'. He was so full of wisdom and forgiveness. It is hard to imagine how someone who was sent to jail for 27 years can come out with no hate, only love, compassion and a deep regard for humanity. Truly an inspirational person! WOW how powerful love really can be, when we let it.

Road Trippin

2010-01-23T18:27:00.000-08:00

I realized that I have never blogged about "road trippin"! I have been road trippin my entire life. I am not really sure why, but sometimes, often at very inappropriate times mind you, I have complete fits of laughter. The things that trigger these fits are not... ummm... always funny to other's. They usually look at me like I am a bit crazy and/or wonder if I have been drinking or smoking something funny! After many years of road trippin by myself, I was presented with two people in the world that would 'get' my humor... my son and daughter! Mostly my daughter. It was on a road trip from Florida to home (Colorado) that the fits got their honorable title... road trippin.

We left Florida a full two days before her boyfriend and his Dad left, and... they beat us home! We stopped often, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves... and everytime one of the boys (her boyfriend Nate, Ross - my husband, or Adam) would call we were usually in the middle of fits of laughter. They were umm... annoyed.

It all started because the night before we left for the trip, we stayed up literally all night talking. I haven't done that for years and years. We left early in the morning and were to meet Ross's Aunts at a Cracker Barrel for breakfast on our way out of Florida. We stopped about 20 minutes away for gas, and his Aunt (who is a long time member of road-tripping herself) said, "where are you at? what did you do? stop for breakfast!" Now remember that the things that set me off aren't always funny in somber moments... but this set me off. We arrived in high spirits and had a wonderful time with the Aunts.

Then we drove on into Georgia. By the time we got to a little town called Mason Georgia we were both tired and I was feeling a bit light headed. This is really where the big road trippin became legend on our trip. We pulled up to a Wendy's to get some dinner and as we were talking about what to get, with the window rolled up still, every time Laura would say an item, a different item would appear on the screen. She would say something else, and another item would show up. It was weird and apparently worthy of my undying laughter. We were laughing so hard, tears streaming down our faces, that we couldn't order... which only made things even funnier. Now, remember that we were running on no sleep at this point and please don't judge us for road tripping worthiness. Of course, the boys called during this umm event. and the rest of the trip was more of the same.

Here are some other... umm... 'gems' of our trip together:

In Alabama we began to see weird and different 'road kill' on the side of the road, and created a game to determine what the dead animal was. Wild life is definitely different in the south than in Colorado.

Also in Alabama we saw a huge line, I swear there were literally hundreds, of port-a-potties. They were all lined up in the middle of nowhere. We couldn't figure out why there was such a need for so many! We determined that this was where port-a-potties get sent to when they are 'set out to pasture'. Was REALLY funny! honest!

Then we were driving in the middle of New Mexico on the way to the Carlsbad Caverns. I was getting low on gas, there was nothing around for miles, and the sun was setting for literally hours! It felt like time had stopped and we were in the 'Twilight Zone'. Then there was a run down trailer on the side of the road, and I imagined a creepy maniac living there. We turned on a small dirt road and I swear that all the rabbits started going crazy! They were crossing the road in front of us, back and forth, back and forth! We both started road tripping and I was so worried that I would run one of them over due to all the tears in my eye.

We had so much fun, the boys were so annoyed, and that, my friend, is how laughing for no apparent reason (at least no logical one) until your stomach aches and tears are streaming down your face has come to be called 'road trippin'.

How often do you road trip? you should try it! it's fun!

Lovely People

2010-01-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met someone that just seems to radiate love? To everyone. Not just to their friends and family, but literally everyone they come in contact with gets showered with their light. I have been so blessed and fortunate to meet several people like this. I think I will call them 'lovely' people, for they truly are!

Of course, Kelly (see my husband's blog www.run4kelly.blogspot.com) was one of these people. Actually, her whole family seemed to radiate love out to the ends of the earth. The pastor's wife at my church is another. The entire congregation lines up after the sermon every Sunday to get a hug and smile from Kristen. She is so genuine, so interested in you, makes you feel special, in a word... so lovely. There is a man at work who works in the building maintenance, and he has a smile and laugh for everyone! Once I used to see a man selling newspapers by the side of the road, and I waved and smiled at him everyday! Just seeing him made me happy. He was so lovely!

I know many, many reasons to not show love to everyone. There are people that have hurt me, people that have disappointed me, I have been ignored and humiliated and I KNOW that there are people out in the world that could hurt me again! But, I don't want them to be able to take my love away from the world. Because I can't think of a single other thing that would have a greater impact than having more lovely people in the world. Just think of what life would be like if most of the people that you meet have that same loving light about them!

I have made and broken probably hundreds of resolutions in my life, but this year, I am going to strive to become a LOVELY person! What would the world look like if more people became a beacon of love? I imagine that that is what heaven is like, everyone fully expressing their love freely! Will you join me? Become a beacon of LOVE in the world! God will help! I am sure of it!

Tension

2009-12-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

Our pastor talked this morning about the balance between righteousness and humility. His message was to warn Christians of being too righteous, being too wise, and beginning to 'look down' on other Christians and non-believers. He called the 'balance' tension, and I thought it was a good way to explain it.

I think there is tension in all things, tension between your wants and needs and other people's wants and needs. Tension between doing right and wrong, Tension between pride and humility.

It is so easy to make other's wrong. To judge them without realizing that we are hypocrites. When I was a little girl, I made a friend who lived on a farm. She told me about living life on the farm, how she had to collect the eggs from the chicken coup every morning and how they owned dairy cows and sold the milk. I thought she was wonderful, and I was so happy to be her friend. One day I was invited over to her house. I got to help her collect the eggs and saw all the cows. We even got to ride on a horse drawn carriage... well it was more like a cart, but I thought it was all awesome. I loved spending time with her, especially on her farm! I thought her life was perfect! That night at the dinner table her Mom asked me lots of questions. I answered her with the innocence of childhood. "No, I don't go to church". "No, I don't know where my father is, he doesn't live with us". "My Mom is divorced and I have a step-dad". "Yes, we live in the trailer court down the street". The next day, my friend told me that we couldn't be friends anymore. When I asked why, she said that it was because I didn't go to church.

I let this experience sour me on religion for years to come. I felt so judged and condemned by this family. But, I realize now that even today I judge Christians too. If they seem too indifferent to the poor, or the needy; if they seem to look down on me or others; I think they should know better. I think they should act better. I judge them. I become as bad as I think they are, and I definitely let my judgements get in the way of loving them. It is quite a conundrum. I am a hypocrite myself!

And so I notice the tension... the tension between loving fully and judging people. The tension between pride and humility. The tension between stating what I need and want in a relationship and making the other person wrong because I am not getting it. The tension between giving myself and my love 100% and waiting till the other person gives first. The tension between accepting what is in my life and wanting things to be different. Tension is defined in pysics as a force related to the stretching of an object (the opposite of compression). I think that is appropriate. It does stretch us and does make us grow and change.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

Mom

2009-07-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

My Mom passed away early Wednesday morning. It was a long, hard battle that she fought, but the end was so peaceful. She had been suffering, in more pain than I could bear for months. At the end, she didn't even know who I was, didn't know it was her birthday, and didn't know how to say enough is enough. God provided. God protected.

I was given a beautiful gift of one week in between crisis to figure out what I needed to say to my Mom to be at peace with her passing. One week of introspection and clarity. On Sunday, three days before her last heart attack that would steel her mind and let in the confusion, I had a conversation with my Mom that was unlike any conversation that we have ever had. I was able to tell her how I tried to take care of her and protect her, when I was just a little girl. Because of this, I was unable to ask her for help when I needed it most. I was unable to see her as the strong, powerful woman that she was. The woman who left her husband because he beat her. The woman who went out in the world without even a high school diploma to provide for her children. The woman who was not too proud to ask for help when she needed it. My Mom. I was able to thank her for doing such a wonderful job raising me. It was her example of motherhood that made me the mother that I am today. It was her loving hands that taught me how to love my children. What a beautiful gift! It is because of her strength and her commitment to her family that showed me how family is everything in life. Through her I learned to see God's beauty in nature and appreciate this wonderful world that we live in. Through her I was able to raise my kids in love and joy. She said that this conversation meant the world to her, and we both cried. I know that it means the world to me. and I will remember it always.

All year I didn't understand why she had to be in such pain. What was the purpose of it all. Why wouldn't God just let her go? But now I understand a little more. We were still getting ready to say goodbye. We were still holding on. She stayed and fought on until we were ready. She gave that to us, once more taking a stand for her children. Finally, we were ready to let her go in peace. She waited until all three of her children were by her side and then gently, peacefully went to heaven. It was the way I wanted it to be for her, not painful and not dramatic. Just her, saying one last goodbye with one last gentle breath. Beautiful and Sad and even Joyful. All in God's Perfect Timing.

Peace and Joy

An Old Friend

2009-02-09T17:47:00.000-08:00

I have been in the work force full time for about twenty eight years and I have met so many people in that time. I have heard their stories and listened to their plans for the weekend. As programmers, we have to rely on each other probably more than some. We get called at 3 am and have to figure out complicated code. If we can't figure it out, we call our co-workers. If we are sick and can't get to the phone, we call our co-workers. And they call us when it is their turn. One of the guys that I worked with for over ten years died last weekend.

Jerry had a Harley in his parking spot and an Elvis clock in his cube. He always had a joke or a story, but he wouldn't always tell me punch line, if he thought it was too off color. He was what they call a 'character'. We would trade good natured zings at each other, and laugh... a lot. He was like the little brother that I never had, even though he was actually older than me, always ready to tease me like little brother's do. He sometimes would get on my nerves. I'm sure I sometimes got on his nerves too. There is not much privacy in our cube environment.

He was a 'good programmer', which is high praise in my circle. He and I were the only ones that could decipher ARD140, a monster of a program, with unintelligible field names and spaghetti code. If this program went down, I didn't have the luxury to wait till I'd had my morning coffee and a clear mind to fix it. I sometimes called Jerry. He sometimes would call me.

Jerry worked hard, met his deadlines, and wrote his lines of code. He also had a problem with alcohol. He had a couple DUI's and had to get a ride to work for awhile. People tried to help him, tried to talk to him. He seemed to do better. He seemed to be ok. He came to work everyday, year after year. He remodeled his house, went to Sturgess every year. He saved his money faithfully and was able to retire 'early'. He was so excited to be out of the race! But, without work as his anchor, Jerry seemed to struggle more and more. A while ago I heard that he had fallen and was really hurt. He had to be hospitalized and go thru physical therapy. Then, last week I heard that he was gone. I don't know what the cause of death was. It doesn't really matter. I am sad. He was a good programmer... and a good guy.

Late New Years Resolutions

2009-01-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

I actually started some new goals at the beginning of the school year in Sept. I actually reached one of them, and have a good start on another one. But, I have been 'getting ready' to start on my exercise goal. I have been getting ready, and getting ready, and getting ready. But I haven't actually started. The starting is so difficult for me. I have all the excuses in the world that keep me from starting. I have my health issues that make me so tired all the time and my schedule that keeps me so busy that I can't schedule in time to exercise. Every day I come up with a new plan, a new strategy that doesn't work. I move my alarm clock all the way across the room so that I will get up earlier and go workout before work, only to get out of bed time after time to hit that snooze until it is too late to get to work on time AND get a workout in. I tell myself I will go after work, but once I come home I am so exhausted, that I don't go. One night last week, Adam actually dragged me out of the house (literally dragged me! I didn't know he was that strong!), and I went only to have to leave after a short 20 minute workout due to asthma. It seems that everything is against me starting.

But, I got good news from my doctor. There are two possible reasons for my tiredness, and so I am hopeful that this will be the thing that will give me that extra boost! With hope, I started my exercise regiment today. With hope, I will go again tomorrow. And, I know that once I begin, once I start and get into a routine, it will get easier and easier and I will make it! With hope, I will get new medicine that will give me much needed energy. I have 10 months to train for my marathon! I want to do this so much! For me, For Ross, and For Kelly. Please God, give me the energy and the hope to start! I know that once I get going, I can take it from there!

Perspectives and Dewitt Jones

2008-11-24T19:50:00.000-08:00

I recently saw a video at work from Dewitt Jones. He is a photographer for the National Geographic. His pictures are really amazing and beautiful, but the message in his video is that we can all change our perspectives and look at life with new eyes, seeing the possibilities and the beauty. What an amazing vision! This is the kind of vision that can change lives, can bring people out of the darkness, lift up people from the rubbish and dirt of everyday existence and into the journey of life. His work is beautiful, but his life's philosophy is so inspiring!

www.dewittjones.com

"Life doesn't make appointments, it just comes at you", - Dewitt Jones

He looks for the extraordinary in everyday life. He looks for what is possible, he believes that the beauty will be there for him, and so he finds it. If we could all look with new eyes at our lives, look for the inspiration, look for the beauty, we would find our passion and our lives would be enriched. If we could believe, then we would see.

This message really speaks to me, especially this time of year. The time to be Thankful and Grateful. I have so many things to be grateful for! This has been a time of learning and healing for me, and I am amazed at the possibilities that await me!

Long Time, No Blog!

2008-11-10T17:54:00.000-08:00

Oh my Goodness! Am I ever behind on my blogging! My life has been going so fast lately, I haven't had the chance to catch up. My family calls me Shunner Number One! Laura is Shunner Number 2! Neither of us is home much. I will try to write a few thoughts about what has been happening. Although I know I don't have time to do any of it justice.

I was honored and privileged to be asked to be a Group Leader for Colorado Youth at Risk. I don't think of myself as the best Leader, I have lots of work to do in this area, so I was very nervous and tentative about saying yes. But, in the end, I drew strength from my husband Ross's example, and stepped out of my comfort zone. The new group is based entirely of freshmen students from the newly re-opened Manual High School in Denver. For those of you that are unfamiliar, Denver Public Schools are in the top 2 highest dropout rates in the nation. Manual High School was closed two years ago for restructure by the superintendent of DPS. The school was reopened with just one class last year, and now the second class has been introduced.

I attended what is called the Launch Course for this new group of CYAR youth and mentors. This involved about 100 people going to Buena Vista in the beautiful Colorado Rockies for a 4 day retreat. I can't even begin to describe what this long weekend was like for me. It was an amazing, life changing experience! The entire weekend I felt like my entire life had led me to that time and place. It was a very strange, wonderful, unfamiliar feeling. All I will say for now is that this organization is truly an organization of personal change and opening up the possibilities, and I am so blessed to be a small part of such an amazing thing.

In addition to my new role, I have signed up for Leadership classes, so that I can become to feel more confident and be a more effective leader. This class is also like no other that I have taken, it is challenging and confronting and so what I need! I have so much to learn!

Hopefully, I can find more time to blog later!

Drive Your Own Bus

2008-10-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went over to a friend's house and helped her with her little Girl Scouts. I was a G.S. leader for many years, and I had a BLAST playing with her troop. They are in 3rd grade, which I had forgotten how much fun that was!

I presented the "Drive Your Own Bus" concept to them. I first heard of this concept at a Women's Leadership Conference about 14 years ago. My buddy Rosanna and I went together and it was an amazing day for both of us!

So... To Drive Your Own Bus, you have to... make bus noises of course! (The girls really liked this part). Then you drive these four ways:
Normally
Trying to read a far away sign
Looking backward or through your rear-view mirror
Someone else drives your bus.

They thought driving their buses around crazy was lots of fun. Then we talked about how you need a map (goals) to get to where you want to go and you don't get lost! You then need to break these goals down into immediate action steps so that they don't get lost or forgotten (trying to read a far away sign).

We talked about how if you are always thinking about the past, and the mistakes that you made, then you can't look forward and drive your bus.

We talked about how you don't want to let someone else drive your bus, be pressured into doing things you don't really want to do, or giving up your control or your own voice. If someone else is driving, then you might end up somewhere you didn't want to go.

It was LOTS of fun and I think they really GOT it.

Amazing Grace

2008-10-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday at church the praise team sang Amazing Grace. This song always makes me cry! I remember one day when Adam was still in middle school we were driving to his Young Voices of America Choir rehearsal. They were doing this song, in a different way than I had ever heard. Adam was singing it to me in the car, and I just started bawling! His voice was so pure, so full of innocence and well... it just got me. I told him that he needed to sing this song for me at my funeral.
Of course, now he won't sing for me at all, making this memory so much more precious!

For those of you who don't know, this poem was written by John Newton, and here is his story!
amazing grace story

It is very inspirational and I think I will always cry when hearing this song!

I too was lost and now am found!

Praise God!

NewCity Church Meets Ronald McDonald!

2008-09-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

On September 6th, another group of fabulous women made dinner at the Ronald McDonald House in Aurora. We made Spaghetti and Salad for the residents at the house. It was a wonderful night, and the women were so helpful and giving! It was a little easier to go into the house for Ross, the memories of Kelly were strong, but not so sad. I had a great time getting to know the women a little better, and I think they had a good time serving others. Many thanks to the women from NEWCITY Church: Dana and her lovely daughter, Kristen, Ronnie, and Aurora, and also my family and friends: Joanne and Terri Dana and HER wonderful daughter, and special thanks to my dear friend Juli, who got there early with me and stayed late to finish the cleanup. It was another wonderful night for me, and Kelly and her family remain close in my hearts and prayers! I will post pictures soon...

My Marathon Story - "I Said Yes"

2008-09-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

The early morning air brushed against my arms and a chill went through my spine. The air seemed to crack with anticipation and promise. My husband and I boarded the bus that would take us through the dessert city of Phoenix, Arizona to the start line of my very first marathon. My emotions were rolling over me like waves, I was bubbling with excitement one moment, and trembling with fear the next. This was the biggest physical and mental challenge I had ever faced, and I was hoping that I could prevail.

I decided to walk a marathon ten months earlier in March, during a church retreat in Buena Vista, Colorado. I was a new member of a very energetic and enthusiastic church, and this was my first retreat. We were in the chapel and the minister told us to pray and ask God to guide us and use us as his vessel. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, and prayed. Then the most ridiculous idea popped into my head.

“You should do a marathon for Kelly!”

“O.K.”, I thought, I must not be doing this right! I am supposed to be getting spiritually enlightened! Shaking my head to clear away the insanity, I tried again. I took deep breaths, closed my eyes, and sent up sincere prayers and thoughts. Focus, I told myself, focus! The image of me finishing a marathon, arms over my head in victory came into my vision. The chorus was singing a song that was called “I said Yes”, which was all about saying Yes to Christ. I was vigorously shaking my head no. I did not want to do a marathon! I was hoping that this whole idea wasn’t coming directly from God, but from my own subconscious. Either way, I didn’t want to do it. I had been on the sidelines of too many of my husband Ross’s marathons to actually want to do one. I saw firsthand how much dedication and determination it took to train for a marathon. I had seen too many people racked with pain and in tears because they were not going to finish.

Ross started doing marathons seven years earlier for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The L.L.S. has a program for marathoners called Team in Training near our home in Denver, Colorado. The concept is simple, the runners raise $3,000 and TNT will train you week by week and get you across the finish line. They also pair the runners with a patient honoree, someone that you can run for and draw inspiration from during the grueling training miles. Ross had finished 9 marathons and raised over $30,000 to find a cure for blood cancers by the time of my weekend retreat. My husband’s first patient honoree was a 9-year-old girl named Kelly Grubb. She lived in Montana and so the Team in Training support team encouraged him to contact Kelly by email and phone to chat with her and hear her story. Ross is typically very reserved and introverted, but one evening he just picked up the phone and called Kelly. I was astounded that the conversation seemed to be morphing into more than the normal superficial talk that strangers usually have. Ross later told me that he and Kelly just seemed to be connected right from the start.

We learned about the entire Grubb family through Kelly’s mom, Patty. Patty would send emails detailing all aspects of Kelly’s cancer journey. The most touching emails were the one’s that she sent in the middle of the night when she wrestled with the possibility of having to give up her child to God and how hard that would be for her. She spoke of Job’s trials in the bible and would draw strength from these stories. I would sit with tears streaming down my face, reading her emails. I felt as if I knew exactly what they were going through. I could imagine the fear, the terror of watching your own innocent child having to withstand the painful procedures and the sickness of cancer. What I couldn’t believe was the strength that this family showed, the way they found joy in everyday moments, and mostly the way the praised God everyday. This was a kind of faith that I have never witnessed and it touched me deeply. Over the next seven years we became extremely close to the entire Grubb family, and it was the witness of their faith that had drawn me to the church.

All weekend long during the retreat, I couldn’t stop thinking about doing a marathon. I was extremely out of shape and seriously doubted that I even could do one if I wanted to. When I returned home, I laughingly told my family about my experience. To my surprise, they all said that I should do it! “Do you think I can?” I asked nervously. “Yes, I am sure that you can”, Ross answered. He did a quick search and found out that the next marathon for the L.L.S. was Jan. 9^th 2005. “That’s Kelly’s birthday!” I shouted! “It’s a sign!” my daughter Laura said, laughingly! I decided that if I could walk ten miles in under 2 ½ hours by the end of August, I would sign up. I tentatively said Yes!

Ross wrote out a pre-training schedule for me. It looked ridiculously easy, starting out at just 30 minutes, five days a week. I was shocked to discover that I was unable to walk on a treadmill more than 30 minutes at a time. When I got off the treadmill, I was lightheaded and my legs felt like rubber. I had serious doubts that I would be able to do a marathon. Ross said that consistency is what mattered, so I kept with it, never missing a workout. Before long, I was able to walk for an hour, and then two! My confidence slowly began to rise. I began to pray during my walks, thanking God for my many blessings and always saying a prayer for Kelly and her family. I began to be thankful for simple things, like the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that I barely noticed before my training walks. I was conscious of my health and my ability to walk in a new and profound way. Walking became a spiritual meditation for me and not just a workout.

Throughout my training Ross would surprise me with new running clothes and sophisticated watches that would keep track of my splits. Soon we were having conversations about hydration and drill workouts. By August, I was able to walk ten miles in 2 hours 15 minutes. I was ready to start my ‘real’ training and we went to the local Runner’s Roost store to sign up for the marathon.

Once I started my training with the L.L.S. coaches and other participants, I began to understand why Ross was so hooked. My walking coach was Peggy, and she and I would walk for hours and hours, talking most of the way. Her Mom died of cancer, and she was a dedicated volunteer to the L.L.S. She gave me tips and tricks that even my husband didn’t know, and I was proud each week with my progress. The training program is based on gradually increasing your miles each week. Your body adapts astonishingly well to the increased demands as long as you don’t skip workouts. The most challenging workout that I had was my 18-mile training walk. I was by myself, walking on a dirt trail that traverses through the city for miles called the Highline Canal. The portion that I was walking on was tree lined and beautiful, cutting through a very up-scale neighborhood. I usually enjoyed gawking at the beautiful houses and landscaping, but that day when I started out the trail was snow covered. The temperature rose steadily throughout the morning and soon the trail was slippery with mud. I plodded through the miles, the sludge sucking at my feet and thought I would never finish. My thighs were burning and sore and I was battling an inner enemy that was whispering things like, “You can’t do this”, and “What were you thinking?” When I saw my car at the trailhead, tears streamed down my face. I was mentally and physically exhausted and couldn’t have gone one more step. I hoped the marathon wouldn’t be as hard as that! The longest training run that the program calls for is 20 miles, and that one went much better for me. The weather was cool and crisp and I felt great at the end. It gave me a much needed confidence boost.

My family and I arrived in Phoenix the day before the marathon on Jan 8th, 2005. It was nice to be away from the cold weather that we were having in Denver. It was the PF Chang’s Rock and Roll Marathon, and I was looking forward to the bands stationed throughout the course. As I made my way towards the start line, I could feel the excitement building. I finally made it to where my wave was to begin and realized that it would be many minutes before I would cross the start line, there was a literal sea of people in front of me. My main worry was that I wouldn’t finish. My second worry was that I would finish dead last. We heard the Star Spangled Banner, and anticipated the starting bell. Then we kind of shuffled forward until the crowd thinned out enough to begin to jog.

The cool morning air felt refreshing and I hoped that it would stay cool. I felt so good, partly due to training at altitude, and I had to remind myself not to start out too fast. The first few miles I began to list all the things that I was grateful for. A feeling of peace and joy filled me and I totally absorbed the moment. At mile ten, I remembered a story that Patty had told me about Kelly. Kelly had just gone through a stem cell transplant and was not able to leave the cancer ward. She had not been able to go out trick or treating for Halloween. “Let’s go reverse trick or treating!” Kelly grinned. She asked her mom to bring candy to the hospital. She went from bed to bed, to all the other children who could not get out to trick or treat, giving them candy and laughing the whole time. Patty said that it was such a blessing for Kelly to be able to give to those kids. I thought about the courage and joy that Kelly exhibited while on her cancer journey. “A marathon is nothing compared to that”, I thought. “You can do this!”

When we crossed the half marathon mat, I was shocked at my pace. I was doing so well! When I reached mile sixteen, I started to sing in my head “Happy Birthday To You” to celebrate Kelly’s sixteenth birthday. From then on, my mood was high and I seemed to just float through the mile markers. At mile twenty I started dancing to the band’s beat. I knew then that I would finish and I was infused with energy! I drew energy from the crowd, high fiving everyone I could. By mile 26 my hips were sore and I had the sensation that if I stopped walking, I would never walk again. I knew that it was almost over, but I strained to see the finish line. Then I saw my son, Adam and he ran up and gave me a big hug! Ross and Laura were there with big smiles, and I couldn’t believe that I was at the finish! This one’s for Kelly, I thought!

I finished my marathon in 6 hrs 09 minutes, which was better than I had ever believed I could do! I was very proud and also very humble. I said another prayer for Kelly and her family, and once again counted my blessings.

Tomorrow?

2008-09-04T20:57:00.001-07:00

Do you know what you are going to do tomorrow? That was the question that our CYAR facilitator asked us last night. His point, of course, is that we THINK we know just what we will do tomorrow. We THINK we have it all planned out. When we really don't know. His point was that we can change what will happen tomorrow and do something different. Do something better.

This question had a totally different meaning to me. Ross's cousin had died over the weekend. His cousin that is just a handful of years older than Ross. His cousin that went to work that morning thinking he knew what he was going to do that day. His day was probably planned out to the smallest detail. Travel plans, work details, lunch plans, maybe even dinner plans. But, he never made it home. I just kept thinking about that during our talk. I think that if everyday we live TODAY like we really don't know what tomorrow will bring. Live like we might not make it back home the next night. Live like our loved ones might not make it home the next night. I wonder what that would look like? What would you say differently? What would you do differently? Something better? Something more meaningful?

Please pray for Jim Monahan's family, Pray for Aunt Joy and Uncle Jack, pray for Ross's Mom & Dad and all the rest of the family.

and I ask you, What does your tomorrow look like? What about Today? What about right now?

Hee Haw!

2008-08-31T23:37:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday we went to the Longhopes Donkey Shelter. I know, who knew that there even WERE shelters for Donkeys! I certainly had never thought about it until my friend Rosanna told me about it. She has adopted two donkeys, Gizmo and Samson. They are a wonderful part of her 'family'.

I had a horse when I was younger, a lazy old man called Little Joe (the Little was ironical, he was a really big horse!). I loved him so much, and I can remember thinking how beautiful and expressive his eyes were. Well... if you have ever looked into a Donkey's eyes, you would say the same thing. Despite their rep as being stubborn and difficult, they are actually very sweet and kind animals. You just have to lower your expecations, and leave some of your ego at the gate! They really can be a little stubborn!

Laura, Adam and I took Keegan when we went to see the Donkeys and he warmed right up to them! Adam was holding Keegan when we first went into the coral, and I think Adam was more afraid than Keegan! LOL!

This particular Donkey Shelter just took in 15 new donkeys that were headed for the slaughter house. They take such good care of the mistreated and malnourished donkeys. What a blessing they are!

If you are interested in learning more, go to: http://www.longhopes.org/

Keegan said 'Hee Haw' all the way home!

Random Thoughts 8/17

2008-08-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

We just got home from church and I was reflecting on the sermon today. For the past few weeks after church I have just been so convicted of all my sins. The pastor has been teaching us about being Biblical parents, and I just feel like we missed the boat on so much of that and that our kids are pretty much grown now. It was not a great feeling and I guess I have been beating myself up over it. But today, for some reason, I began to understand that God has a plan for my kids, just like He did for me and Ross. If He can penetrate my hardened heart after so many years, and if He cared enough about such a sinner as me, I am sure that His plan for my kids will be revealed. I felt so humbled and grateful for Jesus, for dying for my sins and giving me a chance at a Joyful life, despite what life might throw at me. I am so unworthy, and yet felt so forgiven and accepted today.
The pastor was describing the kind of Joyful, Obedient and Faithful followers we can be, and I immediately had an image of Kelly come to mind. She was so full of Joy, gave such glory to God. Then I realized what an amazing blessing I received in knowing Kelly and her family. There isn't a more faithful follower that I can think of than Don and Patty. Trusting and knowing that God would take care of their daughter. And when the final decision was put in place that Kelly would go meet Her Father in Heaven, and leave her Father here on earth, Don remains ever faithful, ever obedient. What an amazing Father he has been to his girls. What an amazing example of Faith he is. And Patty remains steadfast and strong for her family, seeing wisdom and beauty and knowing that her Father in Heaven is looking over her and sending her amazing birthday gifts. And truly, only by the grace of God, am I able to know and witness this kind of Faith and Love, for I am sure that Ross's instant attachment to Kelly was lead and inspired by the Holy Ghost. I hope and pray that everyone in our church has an example of this kind of faith. I hope, someday, to live up to the gift that God has given me, to somehow be worthy, although I know now that there is no way to do that except through Jesus. I pray that he transform MY heart in such a dramatic way, that I may be of some use too.

World's Oldest Blogger

2008-07-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

I was reading the paper (online, as I do now-a-days!) and came across an article about the World's oldest blogger. She recently passed away, but I thought I would mention her blog here... pretty amazing to live that long!
http://www.allaboutolive.com.au/

Prayer Request

2008-07-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

Please pray for my friend and co-worker Dwight Kline and his wife Patty and family. In 2005 Dwight had surgery, chemo and radiation to remove a cancer tumor located in his throat. During a recent checkup visit, they found the cancer has returned, this time in his stomach. He starts chemo again on Monday. Please pray that the treatment will be successful, that it won't be too hard on his body, that he will be well enough to keep working, to enjoy his family and his grandson. That he retain a positive attitude and that he keeps his faith and eyes on Our Father throughout this ordeal. Please send a special prayer for his wife Patty, that she can let go of the worry and fear and live in His word and trust in Him, that she will be comforted and lifted up in His Light. Please pray that they have special moments for family time, laughter and friendship to help them get through this together.

Olympic Trials

2008-07-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

Laura recently went to Omaha Nebraska to watch the Olympic Swim Trials. She was like a kid in a candy shop! She is such a fan of swimming and loves absolutely everything about it. She knows all the athletes and can tell you all their stats and everything. When she first started swimming for Macs, she met a little 8 year old girl named Jessica Rodriquez. Jessica was just coasting along, being the fastest one in her group when Laura started beating her in practice. She started trying harder and swimming faster and now, 10 years later, is competing at the Olympic Trials. She didn't make the team, only top 2 in every event make the team, but she swam respectably. I saw her in the 400 Free on national T.V. and she looked really nervous and scared. She took 6th place in that event. She is Adam's age and will be starting college this fall. I am sure that she will be back in the next Trials in four years. Laura knew several other swimmers at the meet, one was on her team in Flordia Atlantic, named Elle Weberg who is a breast stroker. She got 5th in the 200 Breast stroke. Laura had a really great time cheering her friends on to victory!

The most inspirational story that came out of these trial for me was Dara Torres. She placed first in the 100 Free and the 50 Free. She is 41 years old!!! She has retired TWICE from competitive swimming and is back again! She was winning Olympic medals before Michael Phelpps and Natalie Coughlin were even born! Just an amazing story to watch. I am so inspired! Dara's bright smile and gracious demeanor is such a pleasure to watch. She is yet more proof that we can do anything, even after 40!

Here is Laura and her friend Cody with Olympian Brendon Hanson:
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Worry... A Sin?

2008-06-24T20:23:00.001-07:00

I am the consummate worrier. It is one of the things that I truly excel at. So, you can imagine my surprise to find out that the Bible, in no uncertain terms, advises us to not worry. I get a weekly devotional emailed to me, and this week's topic was worrying. I thought that God just doesn't think that worrying will do any good, and that it isn't good for you and He advises us against it (obviously all true statements), but my devotional went on to say that worrying is a Sin! I was really surprised to hear that. I always thought that my worrying was a result of my Love for other's and showed my concern for them. But, as I looked through the verses of the Bible that teach about worrying... boy was I wrong! I realized that by hiding behind my worrying and anxiety and fear, I am using up precious energy and time that I will never be able to get back. I can see that by letting go of my 'loving worry', I can enable my family to grow and change and I won't be holding them back. I have to pray to God to watch over them and protect and guide them rather than worrying about them. This will be very difficult to do for me, but I believe that my worrying does not help matters At all... and my praying can make a huge difference. So I think exchanging worry for prayer is like exchanging a wooden nickel for gold. It's a no-brainer!

Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

and my favorite I think:
Matthew 6:27 "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Precious Times

2008-06-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend I got to babysit my GREAT nephew a lot because his Mom was moving into a new apartment. We had so much fun together! We went to the park, and he came over and saw our puppies, Rocky and Harley, and he fed our mean cat kitty treats. It is quite amazing that the Kitty actually likes him, because she truly doesn't really like anyone. On Sunday we took him to church with us. He was a little intimidated when we left him in the nursery, but he did fine. When I went to pick him up he was sitting in a big armchair with another little girl around his age with his little hands folded in his lap listening to a story. It was so cute! Ross was waiting for me outside after church, letting him put my keys into the trunk and opening it over and over. It reminded me how patient of a father he was, and I was glad that Keegan gets to be around Ross.

Then we went to the zoo together. It was really hot and he was getting a little tired and cranky, but we had lots of fun. He was amazed at the elephants and he liked the monkeys, but I think his favorite was watching the little penguins swimming. He kept pointing at them and saying see? see? We didn't go through the entire zoo because he didn't want to sit in his stroller anymore and I didn't want to carry him all that way, so we compromised and went home!

He seems to think that we come in a set, because every time one of us sees him he says the rest of our names... LaLa (his very favorite!), Aunt Suooo, Uncle, and A-am, Rocky (also sounds like cookie), Har-ey, and of course KiKi (kitty). Where is she? Where is he? over and over again... it is interesting that he rarely says the other side of his family when he is with us... seems to know that we are separate from them. Of course, he always asks for Mama! She is his center of the universe (as it should be!).

He is such a good little talker, I am hoping that he won't get as frustrated as some 2-year- old's because he can say some really powerful words. He says 'All Done' when he is finished eating, finished playing on the slide, finished swinging, finished riding in the car... see how powerful! He says up and down, he says hungwry - sometimes even when he isn't!, poopy - sometimes when he isn't, and he actually tells you when it's night night time. Of course, he says yes and no. But, his no's are very sweet, not demanding at all... I'm wondering when that will change! He says please, and then he nods his head and gives you the most "I'm the sweetest thing that ever walked the earth" con-man kind of a smile. Works every time! He is almost always in a good mood, unless he needs a nap, and has the most amazing sense of humor that I have ever seen in a little baby. He plays jokes on us all the time. When we were at the zoo and I was holding him, he put his head down on my shoulder like he was going to go to sleep. I said, "are you sleepy, is it night night time?" He looked up at me and laughed, like "ha ha fooled you! There's no way I would go to sleep here!". Then he did it again and again. He also likes to bonk you on the head with his head. For some reason, he thinks this is hysterically funny! Reminds me of when Laura was little and I would ask her what her favorite color was (she was also a really early talker). She would say Orange, and just crack up laughing, because she loved pink! Was really weird and funny! Keegan has that same kind of humor! Hmmm... Maybe that's why he loves her so much!

I am so very grateful that we can be a part of his life, he brings us all so much joy! I was not able to be a part of his Mom's life, and she is the only niece that I have, so I am definitely trying to make up for lost time with him... and it is so amazing that my heart has opened so completely to him. I thank the Lord for giving me this gift, for as long as it will last. The joy of Keegan.

Challenges

2008-06-07T10:51:00.001-07:00

I recently had the opportunity to do a Challenge Ropes Course with my Colorado Youth at Risk organization. I was absolutely terrified! I did not think that I would be able to finish any of the challenges. I have a moderate fear of heights and a bigger fear of climbing. I was waiting to get some pictures back before posting about this, but I have yet to receive any pictures, so I picked some examples I found on the internet. I was unable to find one for the first challenge though.

CHALLENGE #1 Flying V
This was a trust challenge. Two people each climb up and stand on a rope. The two ropes are set to be close together at the start and then they go out in a V formation, getting farther and farther apart. If the couple leans forward towards each other, they can actually get really far out, getting more horizontal as they go. I met a new teenager this weekend named Vanessa. She is an outstanding person, and I was honored and excited to be paired with her, but I was very fearful of the event. To make the challenge personal, we are asked to relate this to our own lives. My answer to "What are you going to work on while doing this", was to be able to open up and trust myself. Vanessa had almost the exact idea because we have both had people in our pasts that let us down.

As I started up, I tried to take it slow and breath. When I got to the top and actually stood on the rope, my knees were shaking so much that the rope looked like it was in an earthquake it was moving so much. I hung onto the pole with a death grip while Vanessa climbed up. Once she was standing on her rope, facing me, I was able to put my right hand on her left shoulder. My rope was still shaking and I was really terrified. I moved my left hand from the pole and put it on her right shoulder and just waited. She was still holding onto the pole and I felt like we were not balanced against each other, so I asked her to put her hands on my shoulders. She didn't want to let go (I couldn't blame her), but my knees were knocking so much now I was really scared and shaking. So I asked her if she could 'have my back' and put her hands on my shoulders. She finally did and it felt a little better. I knew from watching the previous groups that it is best to get out farther from the pole before you get down, so I really wanted to get away from the pole so we wouldn't get hurt. I shuffled my feet and we moved slowly away from the pole. We took a couple steps and then I completely lost my balance (knees still shaking) and I fell. The initial moment of falling I don't even really remember. But once I knew I was safe and the people below had me belayed up, I just kept saying "I'm sorry!" I really felt like I let Vanessa down.

Interesting thing I learned from this Challenge: When Vanessa was back on the ground the group leader asked her about her experience and she said that when I asked her if she had my back, she was able to let go of her fear and trust me because I was asking for her help and she knew that I needed her.

CHALLENGE #2 - CATWALK
This challenge actually looks fairly easy, but for me was the hardest one. You climb up the pole and once you reach the horizontal catwalk, you have to reach out with your legs and stand up on the catwalk. Then you walk across to the other side, and then back to the middle where they lower you down.

The group leader said that the poles represent the present and the future and they ask you what in your real life do you want to work on for the future. I said that my kids are getting ready to leave the nest and I am fearful and challenged of what the future will look like with them out of the house and it just being my husband and I. We will have to readjust our relationship and reconnect in a different way, and that is exciting but also a little scary. And my relationship with my kids will move into an adult to adult relationship. My family life is so great right now, and we work so well together that sometimes I just want it to stay the same.

I had a really hard time, because of my short legs, reaching out to the horizontal catwalk once I was up there. I tried many different hand holds and foot holds and actually almost went around the wrong side. I was again shaking and very fearful, because they said that if you fall close to the pole then you might get hurt. Finally I made it to the catwalk. I forced myself to stop and just breath before starting across. My first steps were really tentative, but then I gained confidence and shuffled across. I actually let go of the rope at my waist for a moment and tried to balance on the pole. I did take a moment to look out at the beautiful Boulder Reservoir and take in the view. Once I reached the other side, I was able to turn around without too much trouble and before I knew it I was in the middle and they were gently bringing me down.

Interesting thing I learned from this challenge: I tend to worry and fret about the future, but sometimes I need to stay in the present and look out at the view.

Someone told me that I looked very determined to find my foothold getting onto the catwalk.

CHALLENGE #3 - Pole Jump

This was probably the most powerful one for me. As you can see, you have to climb up a pole and with nothing to hold onto, step up onto the top. There is another one that has a kind of platform that you can hold onto and I was originally going to do that one. But Vanessa encouraged me to try this one. She said that I could always do that other one if I couldn't do this one. So, I watched the others in my group and asked lots of questions from the staff person that was running this event. She said that if you get to the top and you are frozen in fear and you stay up there too long, then your legs will get tired and you won't have the strength left to finish.

My answer to the question, how does this relate to your real life was this: I am a believer and a Christian, but after a luke-warm experience with my church last year, I haven't been going to church and I don't even talk about it to my friends and family. I had forty years of being a non-believer, and it is hard for me to tell people about it. At times, I still have questions about my faith and I don't feel like I have given it my ALL. So, for me, this was a Leap of Faith, For Faith.

I climbed up the pole, slow and steady. About half way up one of the footings thingys fell off! That kind of freaked me out, but my GL told me how to put it back on and showed me what to do so that the rope wouldn't hit another one and pull it out. When I got to the top, I couldn't figure out how to step up onto the pole. There was nothing to hold on to. It seemed impossible.
I kept remembering how the guide said that my fear will tire me out, so I took a couple deep breaths and stepped up. I only made it to one knee at first, which is an appropriate place to pray for help! Then I was able to get my left foot on the pole and raise to both my feet. I swayed backward a little and thought I was going to fall, but the guide had my rope and pulled me straight. Then I looked out at the little swing and really concentrated on my goal. I bent my knees, pulled back my arms and went for it! I actually touched the bar! I didn't have enough strength to catch the bar, but I touched it! I was so excited!

Things I learned from this challenge: I thought this was going to be the hardest of the day, but I actually felt very confident and powerful on this one. I think it was because I asked for, and received Gods help in my pursuit. It was a very wonderful feeling!

Things I heard throughout the day:
I can't believe I did that!
You are strong, You CAN do it!
Great Job! just go one more step!
Leave No Regrets!
Thanks for catching me!
I was crying and hyperventilating on the first one... the last one I was fairly calm.
I never cry in front of people
I'm Proud of You!
This is what you do, you get almost to your goal and then you quit. Don't quit!

It was an awesome experience!

Relationships

2008-05-29T18:01:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I have been volunteering as a mentor for an organization called Colorado Youth at Risk since last August. My mentee Juli has just graduated high school (yeah!), and we were invited to a graduation celebration for all the CYAR graduates. Juli and I both started our journey with CYAR in August, and we have built up a wonderful friendship. I am so glad that I have Juli in my life, and I am sure that we will remain friends long into the future.

Most of the youth that were at the celebration have been involved in the program for all four years of high school. These kids were so amazing! They got up in front of the whole room and spoke from the heart about how much the people in the program meant to them. One young lady talked about when she got pregnant she was told that there was no more hope for her, that she wouldn't be able to finish high school, let alone go to college. She tearfully and emotionally thanked everyone in the room for the ongoing support and encouragement that they had given her. She has already completed one semester at Metro State College and was confident that she will be able to make it. She said "Everyone here has helped me to become the person that I am, the Mother that I am".

Another young man got up and said that he didn't think anyone understood how much he loves them, and that he wouldn't be graduating if it weren't for the people in that room.

A father spoke haltingly with emotion of how he had given up on his daughter receiving her high school diploma, and he thanked everyone who impacted her life and helped her get through and succeed. I, of course, was in tears for most of the speeches. I was awed and humbled by the obvious bond that these kids had made with their peers and their mentors.

In the past few weeks, I have been to two graduation ceremonies, my son's and Juli's. I reflected on all the advice and wisdom that was imparted by the speakers at each ceremony. They talked about determination, resilience, and fortitude. They talked about riding out the storm and enduring the rough times so that they would enjoy the calm, happy times. But the one thing that they left out was advice on relationships and emotional ties. I think that success should be redefined. That no matter what your job, how much money you make or what kind of car you drive, what matters to the soul is the relationships that you have with your family, your friends, yourself, and with God. These kids are bound to be successful in their futures, because they have learned how to have real, powerful relationships with each other. They learned how to help and support each other, and how to ask for help when you need it most. I believe that these are the keys to true success.

Our friend Kelly didn't go to college after graduation, didn't have a great career or many other things. But, I think that she was one of the most successful people I have ever met. She was so open to everyone, able to talk to people that she had never met. She was kind and considerate of others. But most of all, she was powerfully related to God and her family. They have the kind of bond that lasts through eternity. Now that's what I call successful!

I am inspired! I have signed up for another year of mentoring and pray that I will be able to give and receive from yet another wonderful youth and that I will continue to learn as much as I can.

Positively Speaking

2008-05-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

So, it has been only one day into my no complaining rule, and I have already had a difficult day not complaining. I found myself all day stopping in mid sentence and saying, "oh, is that a complaint or is it fact". You have to understand, these are not big issues or important things that I complain about. No, they are very small, very undeserving things that catch me off guard and get me complaining. Since I am obviously still having issues, I thought that I might have more luck if I think about the opposite of complaining, which is positive thinking. I found an article about exactly what I was looking for in an article (click here for full article) written by Karen Wolf. Here are her tips for thinking Positively Permanently. Apparently, I am in good company in my quest to reduce my complaints. I think her words are very helpful. Hopefully tomorrow, with God's grace and help, I will do better!

Positive Thinking Tips for a Positive Attitude - Permanently

First, focus on what you're thinking about. Remember what I said about being stuck because we never addressed the source? Our negative actions and words are coming from our negative thoughts. Our body, including the mouth, has no choice but to follow wherever our mind goes.
It is possible to control our thoughts, regardless of what we've been led to believe. As soon as a negative thought comes into your mind, purposefully make it a point to replace it with a positive one. (2 Corinthians 10:5) At first, this may take some work, because chances are, we will probably have a lot more negative thoughts in our head than positive ones. But eventually, the ratio will reverse itself.
Second, stop letting other people's negative attitudes influence yours. This may mean we need to stop hanging around with people who do nothing but spout negative stuff. We can't afford to do this when our goal is to become more positive. The negative people in our life aren't going to like it when we stop participating in negativity. Just remember that birds of a feather really do flock together.
Third, make a list of all the areas in your life that you want to change. List all your negative attitudes too. If you can't think of things to put on your list, just ask your family. I'll bet they'll help you make it a really long list!
Fourth, take some time to write strong, life-giving, positive affirmation statements. Make a commitment to read those statements out loud every day. Enjoy how great they make you feel. Know in your heart that you're making progress, even if you can't see it just yet. Just keep affirming the positive.
Lastly, take time to pray about this. You can't change by yourself. But you can spend time with the One who is able to help. Do what you can, and let God do the rest. It really is that simple.

This process will change how we think and that's the real key to changing how we act. Remember, the body will follow wherever the mind goes. There is no way to separate the two, so we might as well "program in" what we want, instead of randomly leaving it to chance.

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

2008-05-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking lately about all the times that I complain. I admit it, I complain way too much. During my mentor training at Colorado Youth at Risk, they taught me about 'Finding the Magnificence of a complaint' Tool. This tool is supposed to enable you to open the mentee's mind up to the underlying desires or wish that prompts the complaint. For example, if someone complains about their Mom always getting on their nerves and nagging them, you could say that they are complaining because they want to have a real, honest and powerful connection with their Mom. If you are off base and have the underlying reason wrong, then they might at least consider what it is they are really wanting after you mention it to them. This is supposed to open up a conversation about their commitment to the underlying wish and get them thinking about the complaint in a new and different way.

This is really a hard tool for me. I have a very difficult time finding the magnificence of complaints. I grew up with a grandmother who loved to complain, and as the saying goes, I sometimes think this trait skipped a generation and went directly to me. Most of the time, being grateful for what I have really helps me. But other times, I get whiney and complainy and I can't seem to stop myself. When I try to use the tool on me, I have a really hard time even figuring out what the underlying reason for my complaint is. I think that it is a bad habit mostly, that there isn't a real deep reason why I am complaining, I just am. Maybe I am trying to get some attention, maybe I just like to hear myself talk, I don't know... but I know that I can do really well for months and months, and then I will start complaining and can't seem to stop.

My complaints are usually accompanied by excuses. I throw in the excuses why I haven't been able to change the situation and improve it, rather than just complain. I know that making excuses is also a very bad habit, but they do seem to go hand in hand. What's the fun of complaining if I don't have a reason to not do anything about the situation and change it? These are a really powerful duo, complaining and excuses. They sap my energy, my hope and my confidence. I know that my life would be so much better if I could erase these from my conversations and most importantly from my thoughts.

So, for the next 30 days (it takes 30 days to change a habit), I am going to try very hard to NOT Complain and to have NO excuses!

wish me luck!

"If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it."
Anthony J. D'Angelo

Astronomy 101

2008-05-17T17:15:00.000-07:00

I just finished my two college classes for the semester. I took Astronomy because I was afraid of the hard core sciences. I have math and science phobia, so it took a fair amount of courage to take this class. I read many facts and figures about our solar system during the semester. What the diameter of each planet is, what the atmospheres are made of etc... I have already forgotten most of what I 'learned'. I figure there are three things that I will take with me as I go forward in my life from this class.

1. The more I learned about the universe and the solar system, the more I became convinced that there was a higher power at work. There are so many amazing things about the universe. The fact that one can calculate the diameter of the earth using trigonometry and the sun's shadow is just one. All of these rules of physics are just amazing to me! There are millions of stars and planets out there, and the fact that everything had to go just perfectly in our atmosphere, we had to be placed just the perfect distance from the sun, there had to be the specific amount of water and oxygen and hydrogen in order for life to form. I don't understand why there is such a controversy between the big bang theory and the creation theory. I believe that they are the same. That God provided everything for us to be created, and once you understand the amazing order of our universe, how can you think it all happened by chance?

2. That God has give some people the gift of being able to comprehend and explain His magnificent plan to people like me. People like Galileo and Albert Einstein. How genius they were, being able to make sense of our world. Most of the theories in Astronomy that were thought of and written about literally centuries ago are being proven correct today with our advancing technology. These scientists predicted with amazing accuracy how the laws of physics can be used to determine how far away a planet is, how big it is, and what the atmosphere is made of. These people had the most advanced, amazing minds! I stand in awe of human-kind and human intelligence and am humbled by their genius!

3. The last thing I learned was from the delivery of the class, and not so much the content. My class was totally an online class, so I was not able to meet my professor in person. I could still feel his enthusiasm for teaching and I benefited from his conscientious hard work. His lessons were challenging, but well thought out and had simple step by step instructions. He was always available for questions and responded immediately anytime someone posted a question. But, as the class went on, I became aware that he was not getting the correct feedback for all his hard work. I think he felt that because this is a community college, that most of the students are young adults, just trying to get through the class with a passing grade. I am sure that there are always some students that try their professor's patience, trying to get away with as little as possible. But, I think that the challenge for the next generation is to become experts at communicating fully through this new medium of the Internet. It is far too easy to misinterpret what someone has written in a short email. It is far too easy to not say thank you to the people that impact us if we have never met them. So, I would like to say to my Astronomy professor, Larry Sessions that I think you did an awesome job teaching me about the solar system, that you made an impact in my learning. and THANKS!

Astronomy 101 - that's what I will take with me...

Mother's Day

2008-05-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

My favorite part of Mother's Day wasn't the card, the flowers or the food. Which is a good thing because my family had one of those crazy weekends, and I didn't get a card, or flowers and I cooked my own food! (that's o.k., I totally understand!). It was later that night... Adam was showing Laura and I the tips and tricks that he learned at his Broadway Musical Theatre workshop he attended the day before. There was singing (which I love), Laughing, and general non-sense (we call it road tripping in our family, I will blog about that later). These late night chats are AWESOME! It is hard to explain how much I enjoy my kids now. They are like a crucial part of me, my heart and my soul, and my best friends. The love a Mother has for her children is so all encompassing. I love them with every fiber of my being, and I know that even now if they were in danger, I would rush to their side like a mama bear.

As the kids were growing up, I would say at every stage, this stage is my favorite. Even though I miss their little hands wrapped around my neck, and their messy faces that they wouldn't let me wash, and even though I am sometimes really sad about my soon to be empty nest, I am so proud and happy with the people that they are. They are so warm and giving and loving! I have the best gift of all! I get to be their MOM! There really isn't anything better than that for Mother's Day!

I know that all Mother's know what I am talking about, and my heart goes out to our friend Patty whose daughter went to live in heaven. This will be one of the first of many firsts to come where she will be celebrating a special day here on earth without her daughter at her side. I can only pray that God will send her the Holy spirit and fill her heart with His love and with Kelly's love. It is the best thing in the world to be a Mom, and it is definitely worth every ounce of pain and worry and gray hair that they may bring. Even having to say goodbye to your child too soon... it would still be worth it all. I pray that just like the pain of childbirth, this pain will be soon soothed and numbed, and the wonderful joy of being a Mom will fill Patty's heart.

Adam and Laura, I love you and am so proud of you!
mommy

Ronald McDonald House

2008-05-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

Today I went to our new Ronald McDonald house that opened six weeks ago in Aurora. I invited some of my long time friends and some new friends to come spend a day cooking and cleaning! We made dinner for people staying at the Ronald McDonald house. I have never seen so much hamburger in my life!

I have to say that the best part was that I realized how much I appreciated the friends of mine that came to help me! We had a lot of fun together, trying to figure out how many cups of water and rice were needed to make 20+ servings. My daughter was very helpful for all the math questions! These women are the absolute BEST! and I definitely couldn't have done it without them!

Ross, my husband had a difficult time with his emotions at the house. It was just a few months ago when he was last in a RonDon house, albeit the one in Seattle. He went to visit his hero and long time friend Kelly who passed on St. Patricks Day. If you would like to see his blog, go to www.run4kelly.blogspot.com. I got a little emotional on the drive home, but for the most part was too busy to think about much (too much math!).

I definitely want to do this again! but this time, we are bringing our own can openers!

Thanks so much ladies! Rosanna, Jolene, Deb and her daughter, Bev, Juli, and of course my daughter!

You really made a difference to me today!!! and together...

WE MADE A SMALL DIFFERENCE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED!

you are AWESOME!

I leave you with two quotes from Helen Keller,

'Although the world is full of suffering,it is also full of the overcoming of it.'

'Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.'

Putting these two quotes together is a reflection of how I felt today. There were so many people at the Ronald McDonald House that are suffering, and together with my friends, we gave them one less thing to have to think about while they are trying to survive. It is called the House of Hope, and I now know firsthand what that means.

what a blessing friends are!

I will post some pictures later...